[MyLittleSecret]

Hi im back (:

2011-09-27T04:25:00.003+08:00

Hi! im back for monthssss after not blogging for long! heh!
well, am not going to delete this blog for obvious sake.
This blog have been with me for like years & delete it away just
as same as im deleting apart of me. Too much things ive blogged.
And this blog have been there for me thru ups & down tho! (:

Ive too much of things ive yet to say.
Eversince im on twitter like 24hours, twitter have been there for
me now. But love, im not gna abandon you for real k?
im just plain to lazy to update you. But once in a while you know,
i visited you.
Did pretty well for my year 3 exams. beyond my expectations.
mom bought for me new cloth just because i did well.
I cried. Too happy. haha. & thank you mom,
you've been great! Im glad your proud of me, whateverthings i do.
Ive got alot to say. But ill keep it for later then!
anyway, Mom been keep asking too much abt a particular friend of mine.
every now and then. yes, i am that JEALOUS.
told first bro & sis in law. they teased me instead. well,
i ought to feel jealous aint i?
Eventho mom gave me & showered me with hell more things
then others, still, im jealous.
Oh mom, stop being SOOOOO nice to my friends.
i know your so kind and good. But you havta remember your
only daughter here are like crushing into pieces inside.
& rmbr, that friend of mine hurt me like no tmr before.
You knew it.
So please mom, stop asking abt tht friend of mine.
shes not my bestf nor anything.
Or maybe, im still paranoid about the past.
Well, trust that are crushed into million pieces are definitely hard to
be mend that quickly.
Just so you know, i got problem in trusting people easily nowadays.
Unless they prove me wrong and convince me why i shud trust them.

But again, once my trust are broken,
it take years to build that trust back.
You wldnt know how hurt it feels like
being betrayed.

2011-07-09T16:59:00.001+08:00

My life is pretty useless.

f.pissed!

2011-06-24T00:09:00.003+08:00

things are getting from bad to worst.
its like as tho your doing for yourself!
your not thinking about us!
and i dont seem to see we're doing this but it seems like
your doing this for us. FOR EVERY SINGLE THING!
i fucking hate it when i earn smth tht im not supposed
to be earning. it dsnt paid off.
cause its not my hardwork and i want my hardwork
to be paid off with things i did.
it should be balance aint it?
arghhh! cork up ah! serious shit.
envy others. why cant we do it from scratched?
all we have to follow your standard and this is totally not
cool. and im totally not happy about this at all.
damn fucking pissed i tell you.

IM BACKKKKKK!

2011-06-23T01:29:00.003+08:00

Hi!!!!!!!! *waveshand*

hehe, yes i know, its been AGESSSS since i update this blog
& its full of webs i supposed too! hahahaha!
well, im just plain lazy as im busy you know!
but ill try to update as much as i can! i promise!!
teehee!
its 2nd week of hols already BUT i still got not enuf of it! sigh....
i still want more more MOREEEEEEE!
& babynephew's bday is just next week & idk
what the hell should i get for him! annoying much?
maybe a bicycle? his fav chungginton?
upin & ipin? ahhhhh! i give him my heart laa k!
just hug & kisses for him will do! so he'll not forget me
at all, forever & everrrrr! k, whatever.
gna sleep already! meeting at 9 later on! ohmyohmy.
why so earlyyyy! tsk.
Goodnight lovely readers!
Xoxo.

one. like a dream come true.

2011-02-28T20:15:00.003+08:00

ive like perfectly plan for my future!
& tell you, i, myself is amaze of myself! hahaha!
ive already plan what to do this year, & in years to come!
InsyaAllah, everything gna go smoothly! *fingercross*
this year, i shall not reveal anything yet until confirm
chop "it" got onto my hand. yes, keep guessing lor!
only a few knows it! :D
and in years to come, ill tell you when the date draws nearer
cause i wldnt want to announce smth that later on, will not
turn out like what i expect it to be! so ya!
i just hope this two major thing im waiting for will come
true sooner or later! Amin!

Ungu - Percaya Padaku | VC Trinity

2011-02-24T01:25:00.001+08:00

A very meaningful song. *sigh.

4down 1more to go.

2011-02-23T12:18:00.003+08:00

4papers down & one more freaking paper to go! :D
first paper was disaster! what a way to start out right?
and the next three killer papers were all alright!
means, i got the confidence i can pass,InsyaAllah!
i hope this sem my GPA move alil bit way more higher
then i expected? well, i know my attachment grades not
gna be satisfying like ALWAYS. but,i just pray hard
this sem result will satisfied me & my beloved parents more!
tmr gna be andy's paper! so, andy, make sure you give us
great paper or you gna have a great time looking at our
"super nice" results huh! hahaha!
Okay,imma sleep now! damn exhausted! i barely slept well
this past few days due to exams! so,i gna spend my precious
time on my bed! nyehehehehehe!
Till later!
Xoxo

ST 12 - Saat Terakhir [High Quality]

2011-02-23T12:05:00.003+08:00

"Namun bagiku lupakanmu buntah waktuku seumor hidup"

this song never fail to tear me up? yes, its really me i guess.
this song pretty much im feeling right now. or not now but
from last time. its never gna work. i can never forget about you.
enough said. *sigh.

Karma is a bitch if you want it to be.

2011-02-22T03:01:00.005+08:00

Hai all!
yes,ive been missing quite sometimes! mind me,im having
my exams! so,spare a tots for me yeah! (:
idk why im feeling very emotional tonight and that is why
i make the decision to write in to you dear diary.
this songs are the one whom been speaking up my mind
for me. and seriously,i hate this feelings. it just sucks.
this feelings come once in the blue moon & can really
break me down really badly. ):
sometimes i feel this ppl are just pissing me off big time!
but no,they dint affect me in anyways. but i just pity them
in someways. LOL!
i hate ppl said they're ugly,fat whatever shit when the
matter of fact they're not at all. cause you've just
humiliate ppl who are one! cause your inhuman. enuf said!
some even said othrs fat but they themselves are one!
saying othrs a bitch when they barely know them!
humiliating othrs like no tmr! i guess this ppl got no life la.
thts why. thts why, ive been withdrawing myself off from
this types of ppl.
i mean its like,
"calling others stupid dsnt make you any smarter,
calling others fat dsnt make you any skinnier,
calling others bitch, dsnt make you any less bitcher."
smth like that. get what i mean?
ppl may get this pinch for all i care!
cause its just my thoughts! ppl been coming to me
complaining abt their problem. i dont pity them,
but i pitied those whom trying their hard to bring this
innocent ppl down. spare them will you?
cause karma is sweet or before you forget,
tht this world is round. what goes ard comes ard? LOL!
but well, atleast look yourself in the mirror before you
criticize othrs. cause no one in this fucking world is fucking
perfect! & you've just made a fool out of yourself.
seriously,it made me laugh out loud how ppl tries to brings
someone down when it dsnt affect the oth party at all!
well,i guess this ppl ought to mind their bloody
business & get them problem free!
im outta here!
goodnight!

Happy Birthday Nurilyani Aladdin.

2011-02-10T15:23:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO
NURILYANI ALADDIN!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUUU! :D

its your bday again! and this time round your a year older
yet again! 22 ehhhh! so old! hahahah! :P
whatever thing is it, may you have a perfect 22nd birthday!
Thank Allah for giving you Guh-reat health and great ppl
around you! May Allah continue to bless you with better
health & may you get married fast k! Hahahaha! :P
Thanks for being a great sister! yeah,your like a sister to me!
(somemore,your my future sis in law right? so,same la hor! heh!)
Please meet me soon! I miss dating one to one with you!
cause now you already working, so action already right!
so, you owe me one fantabulous meal k! hehehe!
& before i forget!

HAPPY 4TH YEAR ANNIVERSARY
WITH 2ND BROTHER!
May you both last longggg! & get married and give me
cutecute nephew/nieces k! :D
Loveyou alot!
Xoxo.
*mwahmwah*

Alhamdulillah.

2011-01-28T23:25:00.003+08:00

You know, it feels great when someone goes to you and
need your help,share his/her probs all to you & trust
you & your words, advices. i feels like im so important
to them and they find me because they need me not
because they need me when their friends are not to
avail. how touched i am with this ppl. deep down i really
do. (: sometimes i wonder who will cry for me if i die.
Who will be happy if i die! ya,ppl can be tht bad what!
haha! (: dont you guys ever thought of tht too? i do.
always do! ive learned alot about life. about everything.
be it in relationship or anything. eventho im not in one
right now. but looking how bad one can suffer in a r/s
really an eye opening for me. ill always asked myself,
"will i be tht ego? will i be tht jealous? will i be tht childish?
will i be tht manje?" alot of "will i?" in my mind
whenever i think about it. yes. how insecure about myself.
But what to do? A girl will always be a girl!

Good news!
i PASSED ALL MY TEST! wheeeeee!
skills retest,bio test,research method & stats test!
All pass! Omg! im so happy! Alhamdulillah Ya Allah!
you just made my weekend happy! went all smoothly! (:
now,left with 4 projects! come,i can do it!
my groupmates,together we can do it! :D

a promise.

2011-01-19T17:48:00.003+08:00

i laugh,i giggle,i smile.
thats the best i can do to keep my day going.
things wsnt tht good this few days.
sometimes, ppl are just selfish. ya,to the extend they
dont even try to think abt oth's feelings but to think abt theirs.
scared that their good name got tarnished just because of
other person. yes,you can predict who im talking about.
obviously me right? hah!
idk how long i can keep myself strong and go through all
this shits of life. problem after another.
not a problem actually. but, im terribly hurt
when your own loved ones put all the blame on you
cause they dont wna their name got tarnished.
but never even try to understand the situation,
never try to understand how long ive tried to
get hang of all this shits. no,you dont. you always
compare me to your past history of live.
i know. yours was way disastrous. but hey!
one thing you have to know.
My generation isnt the same as yours now.
you cant bloody expect me to be like you.
cause im aint you.
and i can never ever be like you.
i might be the most stubborn one among the other three.
but im still a human being.
my heart is screaming out loud shouting for help,
shouting for some sympathy,some love,some fairness,
and everything that can make this heart at ease.
but i dint get that for long.
ive been struggling so hard. so hard that only tears
can explain the pain in my heart is like.
i hate to cry. im a strong girl. im not a cry baby.
im not going to cry anymore.
maybe its my faith to be like this.
a promise to myself, not to rely SO MUCH on
my love ones ever.
a promise till i die.

Short get away.

2011-01-13T22:40:00.001+08:00

saturday!
i cant wait for this saturday!
gna go for a short getaway with sis in law,her mom,
her sis,her bro,grandfather,aunty & my babynephew!
ya,IM ALONE. like some kind of outsider liketht.
i dint contemplate to go or not. i just agree! very weird!
maybe i already feel so family warmth there! hahahah!
& thanks sis in law. shes paying for my ferry tix! hehehe!
gna release my stress there! first in mind to do is,
TO BUY A&W!!!! ya,i going batam laa!
batam only. not so far! hahahah! but still smth what!
i need smth to de-stress out! teehee!
now,back to project time! abt 3 all done!
3 more to go! we can do it!
Team Superb! hahahah!
Loveyoualltopieces.

im proud of you lil ones.

2011-01-11T01:45:00.002+08:00

lilbro gotten his Olevel result in the afternoon just now!
he dint do tht great. but trust me, to me he did!
He must have said he disappoint us, but im really
proud of him! Watching him grow up right infront of my two
eyes can simply made me burst into tears.
how much he've grown. and how much im so fortunate
for having him as my lil brother.
& to my horros,hes turing 18 next month! I just feel that
hes only 8 years old then! time fly pass so fast!

Dear my baby brother,
tho higher nitec your going to in few months ahead,
dont give up alright? you know,ITE is not a bad institution
to be in. & you know, the family have always been behind you.
Once a failure never mean forever. But you in other hand
need to prove to us that you can do it, way better
then you think you can!
I know, i got faith in you on this! make mak & abah proud of
you lil ones. & also your elder brothers and not forgetting me
too! You can be so excel in soccer but dont forget, you need
education to go further in life alright?
& please,you owe me ben & jerry ice cream okay.
loveyousomuch bby brother.
Xoxo.

How now brown cow?

2011-01-07T19:02:00.002+08:00

i decorated the above cookie! nice hor nice hor!
but now gone! cause its eaten already! Hahaha!
one of the lecturer said,
"oh,that is so lovely my dear!"
hahahaha! so cute huh! LOL!
Lab theory test already over! Thank God, it was
manageable! Alhamdulillah! LUCKILY!
i studied one of the topic last minute when i told
my oth clique i dint study tht at all!
so,i hope ill pass it! InsyaAllah can one! :D
come,let me share with you in my two weeks time
disaster i gna face okay!
So,you girls/boys will know how stressful i am! (:
okay,lets G.O go!

this week consider week 12.
starting week 14 ;
- Project ICA
- Skills test
- Biology test

Week 15 ;
- Project ICA
- Stats theory test
- Research Method theory test

Week 16 ;
- TWO PROJECT ICA

Week 17 ;
- THREE PROJECT ICA

So,how now brown cow?
Tell me now,tell me that becoming nurses are so chicken
feet ha ha likethat huh?
see my projects are like piling up like nobody business!
Cant even slack at all!
those lecturers want we nurses to die i guess.
But! I know i can do it! Perseverance is the key to
success! chey! macam paham! haha!
whatever it is,wish me all the best okay?
i pass all i give each & everyone of you flying kiss.
hahahahahahahahahahaha!
kbye!
:D

useless.

2011-01-02T21:08:00.002+08:00

the picture above says it all.
i feel so useless. dont ask me why. i just feels like.
i dont feel the sense of belonging anymore.
idk why. i tend to get so emotional. i think maybe
due to miss little red riding hood or maybe its just
me. if your living with me, you'll notice im not
that shahida you used to know.
now,im pretty much to myself.
pretty much isolate myself from anyone at home.
unless first bro at home during the weekends
with his family. then im much more livelier i guess!
hah! idk. i think my thinking is as same as lil brother.
no one wants to hear you nor see your point of view
why you love to do that & this and why no one tries
to understand you even abit.
all they knows is WE the lil ones at home need to
LISTEN to them. in short, like a dog.
as much im trying to understand their point of view
i just cldnt. tried voicing out but i think its just
a waste of time. BIG TIME.
Bias-ness clearly occur. idk if let say someone else
got married in this house, that bias-ness will occur
much more cause it can clearly been seen now.
im tired of everything. i just wna get a peace of
my mind. i dont want to quarrel nor get into some
misunderstandings yet again.
So,2011. please be good to me yeah?
make my Year 2.2 a smoother year! let me pass with
good grades! im doing this for me,myself.
not anyone else.
Goodnight!
Xo.

Last day of 2010.

2010-12-31T20:51:00.007+08:00

Before 2010 gna end, and 2011 is up next,
i gna summarize up what happened throughout 2010!
it'll be a jumble up! But i hope i got it all here! (:
so, just hang with me with that!
heh! (;

First up is my Birthday!
thanks a gazillion much for those whom make it happened!
cliques gave me a Guess wallet as a present,i cldnt asked for more!
not forgetting my dearest cousin nisa, bro's gf kak yanie,
my aunty, first bro & sis in law! each one of them are sucha
sweetheart! you know,the best gift tht ever i thankful for
is,ppl wishing me,rmbr tht 6august is my "big" day. im
really thankful,from the bottom of my heart. i am. (:

next, i went to melbourne earlier this year!
it was a really GREAT experience i shud say
& if i were to be given THOUSANDS of chances to go thr back
again, I SWEAR i will go! I miss my relatives thr alot!
eventho we've not been meeting like abt 10years, we're not
even a stranger to each other! ill fly back again thr! i really miss
my baby cousin, azri, azli & azim! my sweet pea. ):
& i hope they are doing great thr! its 2011 for them now over
there! cause they're 3hours faster then us! haha!
May God bless them there!

Outing with the girls really made my day to the fullest!
i cldnt rmbr how many times we went out but trust me,
i enjoy every sec with you girls! lets go for more outings
in 2011 okay! love each and everyone of you girls alot!
Xo.

Since school starts till now, i cldnt believe tht me & clique are this
close! How much i thank God for giving me GREAT friends!
we went thru alot together! they stick with me closely when
im so called in "trouble". but they never doubt me.
cause they know me better then oth kids in school!
im thankful! they still accept me for who i am when ive shown
them all my true colours! they never underestimate me,
infact, they even advise me on whatnot, and encourage
me too! how much love i can get in 2010 ya?
cause alot of my friends said tht you cannot find your "true"
friends at all. but they're wrong! infact,the ppl above is sucha
sweetheart for sure! dint regret knowing them at all! (:

this lady above is more like a sister! she know
EVERYTHING about me! oklaa,mayb 90% of me & my life
she knows! but still,she knows e most! she witness almost of my
downs which i really appreciate it so much. idk if shes not bro's gf,
idk whom can i turn to. she taught me what patience is all about.
she taught me alot of things about life. thats how grateful i am and ive always
Thank God for having her as bro's gf. That is the best gift
i can ever have! & im happy for her! at last shes working!
reading her tweets,made me Thank you more God,for making
her life much more smoother without getting sick so far.
Alhamdulillah! who knows this year or what,she & brother
get engaged or smth? teehee!
Just this opportunity kak to tell you this,
I might be a pain in the ass to you. i might irritate you in any ways.
But trust me,Your the best thing that can ever happen in
my life and my family's life.
Iloveyoualot. (':

Lastly, im proud to have a wonderful family!
its a lie if i said there is no ups & down in one family.
there is & that makes the family bonding becomes
stronger! im blessed for having babynephew with me
everyweek! hes my strength for me to carry on in life.
he made my life change totally! i love him so much!
will be seeing him just in a while later on!
so much of love this 2010! until i cldnt even bother
to think abt the hatred. cause love will always wins right?!
:D

apart of tht, every year, new resolution. have you all
done one? as for me, i dont bother to do one!
cause every year had one but still, nth is done!
haha! so, ill just go with the flow! & the one one
resolution in hand is, i wna do well for my studies!
to get my desire GPA. InsyaAllah i can do it!
& would love to take this opportunity to wish all
of you a......
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
May God Bless each & everyone of you!
i gna count down at home!
cause im still sick!
what a wonderful New Year yeah?
haha! but still, i dont mind! Cause im with
my babyboy here at home! it'll be more then great then
ive got to stand in thousands of crowds!
Enjoy your first 2011 people!
Much love from me!
my last post of 2010!
its sad to leave 2010 whom taught me alot of
lesson! REALLY ALOT! getting to know alot of
ppl with different kind of attitude. Cause i know,
all of them are special in their own way.
takecare for now.
Xoxo.

last few moments of 2010.

2010-12-30T12:36:00.003+08:00

hey babies!
its the 30th! & today is my class chalet! its
pretty unfair cause i got sick when the days i
wanted to enjoy so much!! sigh,my life right.
haha! so,ill be back tmr! & ill summarize about
my life in 2010! meanwhile,
you all enjoy the last few moments of 2010!
it've been a great year & hope 2011 will be a greater year!
may God bless each & everyone of you sweet pea!
Till next time!
Xo.

25th.

2010-12-26T03:15:00.002+08:00

Would love to have this opportunity to congrats kak mis
on her engagement day ystd, 25th december!
She is go Mad Gorgeous with those dress up! XD
& for the first time,all the clique is there!
not forgetting amalina & sitti too! (:
so mad love! :D
and then 3/4 of us trained down to ochard to see
how christmas atmosphere is like there!
but i got disappointed cause what i expected not
really happen! & its like wet,windy christmas! cause
its raining. like heavily! brghhhh~~~
& i cant wait till class chalet on the 30th & countdown
with the clique again too, perhaps?! wah!
cannot waittt! heh!
so much love this december! despite of having alot of
pressure due to upcoming test and all.
hope ill pull it thru! *crossfinger*
till here! gna go jb later on!
Pandan City,here i come!
Goodnight! Xo.

Merry Christmas.

2010-12-25T10:30:00.002+08:00

HO HO HO HO HO!
MERRY CHRISTMAS! :D
well, i dont celebrate one! but seeing my friends
all celebrate i can feel their happiness!
May each one of you have a blast one today!
& im so eggcited for today!
gna meet the clique later on in the afternoon!
hee. kak mis sure look so great & fantabulous!
Okay,shall get ready for now!
& again,
MERRY CHRISTMAS to all christian
& have a blast one! :D

Just the way you are.

2010-12-24T01:58:00.002+08:00

im so mesmerized with this song.
favourites of all!
Cause boy, your amazing, just the way you are.

too many things to do but too little time.

2010-12-20T19:41:00.003+08:00

went to nina sister's wedding ystd! seirously,kak aifa,
you look so mad gorgeous! with those tudong on. you hit
the pelamin man! teeheehee!
2 weeks of holidays already started! ive yet to feel
the atmosphere of holidays yet!
there is so much hell of things to do & too little
time to even study! how like that i ask you?!
sigh! & reassure! im pretty excited for this coming
saturday!! confirm she very pretty lor! hehe!
you wna know who? stay tune okay! :D
& now,baby nephew are able to call me already!
he supposed to call me by aunty and followed by my name!
BUT! he only called me ; IDA!
-.- so rude tht lil rascal. i feels like squeezing him
tight & never let him go! too adorable! hahaha!
& now you know,why i love him tht much!
come back here soon okay baby!
aunty miss you so much already!
Xoxo.

Happy Birthday Mom.

2010-12-14T00:03:00.001+08:00

You put your family's needs first then yours. You pampered your child more then you pampered yourself. You think about us more then you think about yourself. You brought us up and never gives up no matter what happens, thru thick & thin. You’ve always be there for us, for me. Happy 54th Mom, thanks for all you've done for me. Everyone would have said their mom is the best of all mom! But! Your one of the kind. Your extraordinary. I can never think i can find another identical mom like you. Never in my entire universal life! You know, ive always promise myself that ill never forget, ill never fail to love you. Till my last heartbeat. i love you very much mom. i truly do. :’)

stressssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

2010-12-09T01:32:00.002+08:00

things have been quite rocky for me this
past few days. or rather weeks or months.
but Alhamdullilah, i think now the things get
alil bit better now? hopefully! *crossfinger*
and sch is being more and more stressful!
projects been piling up like hell in splits seconds!
imagine having 6 projects in a month?
want me to die isit?! tsk!
yet to do my revision. i must start already.
cannot slack this sem anymore.
new year,new resolution.
and that GPA ill aim for will come true.
InsyaAllah!
its 2am already. shall go to sleep now!
Goodnight all!

I love you mom.

2010-12-07T00:41:00.003+08:00

Salam Awal Muharram to all Muslims all over the world!
May this new year of Islam be a better one for
all the Muslims and may we forget about the past &
be a better person in future! InsyaAllah!
A new resolution been made! InsyaAllah,ill
try my best to make this resolution of mine
a wish come true! hopefully! *prayhard*
i miss a whole lot of ppl. i miss my uncle's family in
melbourne! i miss my mom's family side in malaysia.
practically i miss alot of ppl. hah!
this saturday i hope the plan work out!
pray hard mom gna get surprised! heh!
gna celebrate her __th birthday this saturday eventho
her bday is on the 14th!
at malaysia & planned with the aunt & uncle over thr
on how to surprise mom & all. so,hopefully
the plan is a success! :D
& thanks mom for all you've done for me.
Everyone would have said their mom is the best of all
mom! but your one of the kind.
your extraordinary. i wldnt think i can find
another identical mom like you. never in my
entire universal life!
you know,ive always promise myself that
ill never forget to love you. till my last heartbeat.
i love you very much mom.
i truly do.

Use somebody.

2010-12-04T02:10:00.002+08:00

Im in love with his voice.

yes, like what im thinking,
he is veli chuteeee!
:D

Hang on tightly.

2010-12-03T22:10:00.002+08:00

The only thing i can do now.
I feel so helpless, so hopeless.
tried my very best to hold my tears.
but this heart can lie no more.
it just rush down quickly then i expected.
hate myself. i hate crying infront of ppl.
i hate ppl start to sympathize on me.
i hate ppl to feel pity on me.
i just hate it.
but just now was too much.
ive been keeping this for So long.
okay,i might be exaggerated?
but, its like way before i even went to
melbourne. if only.........
if only is just two bloody words that defines
tht we cant do anything about smth tht
already happened but to learnt our mistakes
from that particular incident.
sis in law just called me asking if im okay,
if i know anything.
of cause i did. and even if im not okay,
what can she do?
so i just laugh it off and say im alright.
talking to her make me wna cry.
but after talking to 2nd bro's gf,
i feels way much better!
feel so ashame of myself crying to her.
but i cant help it.
thanks alot sister.
you made me feel awhole lot better! *hugs*
& thanks to the clique for the concern.
im alright! as you can see i can still
laugh righttt? hahahaha!
& i just hope & pray everything gna end quickly.
stay strong mom.
you know,your only daughter is always here
eventho im sucha pain in e ass at times.
but still, i love you no matter what.

IMUST & I WILL....

2010-11-28T01:44:00.003+08:00

it was my 400th post the previous one! hahaha!
not bad not badddd!
& guess wht? i log in to blogger from 3am. now time
checked,going 4am! nice one right? heh!
tell you what? sem 2 is killing me! i hate it when
lecturer start talking & immediately make me fall
asleep! yes,this ALWAYS happened for adult nursing!
but others ok leh! idk why! ):
& now im like in big trouble for adult nursing!
how like that! and i think im kinda lost in
pharmaco too! borrowing janice's textbook &
i HOPE i WILL revise back & all.
need to work extra mile for this sem!
I MUST & I WILL!
Jiayou Shahida!

Bakal.

2010-11-27T19:39:00.002+08:00

"I pray your bakal, will be as funny as abg ijan, as good looking as torres, as baik and loving as abg epul, as caring as abah and as cute as me. :) and of cos, veli loving each other…. Hehehe."

2nd Brother's gf said this to me! hahahaha!
so cute that girl.
& i wished this will come true.
Oh! she said my bakal tu maknenye,
bakal boyfriend. irritating! hahaha!

Naked Fish Shoppe.....

2010-11-22T22:49:00.003+08:00

Went to naked fish shoppe after school! for like the first
time we went will all 8 there! BUT! kak fad isnt ard! ):
so,we're one less lonely girl. chey! hahaha!
but still,there's next time. no worries! :D
had a LOL session as per normal! our "stress-free"
moments to be exact! :D
& now,i cant wait for sushi! craving like mad! like one
mad girl havent eat for eons likethat. yes! that bad!
& now i can foresee how terrible i can be if one day i
were to be pregnant! sure alot of nonsense temptation!
yes, ive already think abt the future! HAHAHAHA!
whatever sak shahida. LOL!
tmr going to sch early to meet the girls & revise Adult
Nursing! cause i simply cant absorb any during lecture
just now! >:( hope i can wake up early & meet the girls
for some revision!
& so eggcited! i cant wait to eat my sushiiiiii!
RAWRRRRRRRRR!
tata! ~

sushi!

2010-11-21T19:39:00.002+08:00

I is craving for sushi!!!
cant wait for 3dec! going Hei Sushi with the
clique! Loveloveloveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
:D

hari raya haji....

2010-11-18T00:22:00.002+08:00

Hari raya hari seems not like one.
ive been sleeping one whole day. yes,
i just wake up and eating. Woohoooo!
hahahaha! perangai budak gemok sgt!
hahahaha! school gna resume tmr yet again!
i dont want to go to sch lor please! i want to
sleep at home all day long laa. can or not?
hahahaha! & i hate the fact that baby nephew
came just now but i dint even kiss him hello
neither goodbye. prioritize my sleeping wayyyyyy
too much then him. Im sucha bad aunty! ):
now i miss him like hell okay.
to wait till friday like so long likethat.
its 2 in the morning.
i want to get back to sleep.
so,see you babies soon.
tataaaa~

Dirty little fingers.

2010-11-17T01:35:00.002+08:00

Well,one prob settle,another prob down.
just fucking hate it when im being accused
when i did nth. Oh well. MAYBE i did! OPS! hah!
well,EVERY SINGLE one is a hypocrite. one hypocrite
for their own benefits. one hypocrite to refrain themselves
from trouble. and blablablaaa.
well,you know i know laa huh.
im a hypocrite myself too. i dont deny tht.
But a hypocrite saying another person a hypocrite,
what shud i call tht person is? hmm,i wonder yeah.
Ops! anyone got the pinch here?
Hahhh,im not going to say sorry or whatever shit.
cause this is my blog my say. i know the
consequences ill be facing. but dont worry,
living in this world,cant please everyone.
im sure i got haters out there. But hey! if you dont
get one,there must be smth wrong with you yeah. (:
but before you point your dirty fingers to me and blame
me for things i dint do,go clean your fingers first.
get the facts right.
and please,if you know NON about me and abt my past,
dont bother judging me for all Goodness sake!
Eventho you heard abt me from SOMEONE else
whom i got problem with before! Hahhhh!
Great aint it? get the fact from the one whom is also
a hypocrite. I like it alot! (:
your not my mother neither my father to judge me
the way your judging me right now.
so,Get a life & look yourself in the mirror first.
if Your Past is way better then mine or not.
Oh! maybe it is way better then mine.
But,who fucking care about it? hahaha!
so till here & TYVM! (:

Life......

2010-11-16T22:16:00.002+08:00

Talk is reallyreally cheap.
But to understand someone's feelings?
Do you even care about it?
No, i doubt you do.

life is wonderful................

2010-11-13T01:27:00.003+08:00

KKH Posting already ended! Alhamdullilah!
everything goes smoothly! :D & this time round,this
attachment is the far best memorable one! hahahaha!
ill miss this alot for sureeee! hahaha! keco nk mampos k!
i cannot tahan laa! keep laughing mcm org gila! HAHAHAHAHA!
epic-est moment ever ah kirekan! hahahaha!
but well,time past by so quickly & monday im back to sch!
back with those pharmacology,biology,adult nursing
and the list goes on! Arghhhh! hate anything
ends with LOGY! pfft! what a wonderful life i have huh?!
suay on,my lab lecturer cannot make it!
pfft! just to think abt monday having her lesson
can make me lost interest in her lesson for the
whole of sem 2! how can likethat one!
so Shahida,pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease
try to "Love" her. try okay,TRYYYYYYY!!!!!!
okay,im off now. tired. needa sleep.
lastly,
One anak kingkong can do more harm than 100 enemies. (Y)
AZRI KAU MMG KINGKONG BTOL AH!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!
i cannot stop laughing when he wrote this!
hahahahahahahhahahahahhahah!
i laugh till my first bro wakes up! got scolding!
but still,your sucha pain in e ass azri,seriously!
hahahahahaha!
k,bye! :P

fuck your life.

2010-11-02T22:22:00.004+08:00

fucking mad right now. idk why ppl must have
fucking big mouth & love to spread words like fire
to another people. your adding salt to the wound
you know? cb! mad angry! dont blame me if
one day i talk to you straight. fucking sensitive!
so what not invited? for all this while,got invited
also never go! got 1001 reasons to give. never ask,
sulk like one kind. who do you think you are?
a PRESIDENT? HAH! fat hope your one.
dont try to blame anyone on everything. Blame yourself.
You start this things all. YOU DID!
have been patient. & trust me,even the most
patient human being in this world,have his/her
own limit & you've step that limit that anyone
can ever stand it! im sure ppl reading this and
feel the pinch or whatsoever will spread this AGAIN. But,hey,
i dont FUCKING CARE ANYMORE!
your not a VIP for anyone to take a very good
care of your feelings. be patient to you also no use.
still everyone's fault. too much hardcore hypocrite
like you in my life already.
too much to handle. and i shall rest this case!
i wldnt even care if you even exist in this world,
ard me or whatsoever.
DONT BLAME anyone for HATING YOU.
ASK YOURSELF,WHY YOUR BEING HATED!
if you still cant find the answer,
then find anyone who can answer your qns.
make sure the one whom you think somehow against you.
Definitely,one of them is me.

iloveyou.

2010-11-02T00:44:00.002+08:00

I may be an idiot MOST of the TIME,
but people,whoever you are reading this......
i just wanna let u all know,
I LOVE YOU.
Life is so fragile, anything can happen next minute.

cintai kamu.

2010-10-30T22:41:00.002+08:00

the song above,can simply make me cry.
its like so me. get what i mean? )':
i cried when the part he sang,
" Namun bagiku melupakanmu butuh waktuku
seumur hidupku"
the first ever song that made me so emotionally down.
boy,i know your not reading tthis. neither you even know
if i have a blog. but still,just wna let you know,
you've never been forgotten no matter how much i tried to.
you know,saying is simple. to do it,it was never easy.
Everytime i pray,i pray that i can move on,i can
forget about you. i just cant accept the fact that i cant.
i just dont know why. but the feelings are so damn
strong that i failed to do anything about it.
no one know. no one ever know how i feel at this point of time.
im all crushed.

Do you Know?

2010-10-30T02:24:00.001+08:00

" Did you know that, when u carry Quran,
Shaitan gets a headache.
When you open it, he collapses.
When he sees you reading it he faints.
When you are about to forward this message,
he will discourage you. "

All about babies. (:

2010-10-21T23:20:00.003+08:00

Attachment over at KKH wsnt that bad.
& tmr will be the last day ill be attached over at
obs ward & next week will be over at gynae!
& lucky my last day at obs ward is in the nursery!
mygodddd! i so gna miss those handsome & pretty babies
in there! i feel so motherly likethat you know! hahahahaha!
and lucky my Casestudy went well i guess? the clinical
facilitator of mine very nice actually. tot shes that kind whom will
like ignore us and stuff. but actually shes not. shes fun to talk
with! like ppl said,"Dont judge the book by its cover"
just smth pissed me off. not smth actually but. SOMEONE!
fucktard attitude. seriously girl,i was never happy with you.
NEVER at all okay. hypocrites,backstabber all dsnt matter to me.
but ppl who are SELFISH IN SHARING KNOWLEDGE
JUST SIMPLY PISSED ME OFF TO THE MAX.
seriously! act smart but,well! never credit who help you.
never do own research,just copy from ppl.
Eh girl,come on! high GPA but this type of suckish attititude
also no use okay! PEMBODEK NUMBER ONE! cb!
prangai mmg kaum kau laa! pfft! i just dk why. this just simply
make me angry lor. then know some info you dk,
ppl ask you act smart but actually info from other ppl.
Ya! so smart right! shud get 4GPA point actually!
-.-
okay,i shall not talk abt this! will only make my BP go up
& awayyyy! LOL! shall go & sleep now! my last morning tmr
for obs ward! need to bids goodbye to those handsome & pretty
babies already! ):
its okay! i still got my own baby at home!
Baby iqraam! heh!
Goodnight Sugarrrrr.
(;

What If?

2010-10-15T01:48:00.003+08:00

Went out with this two babies earlier on just now!
helping syahrin with his part time work! yes! so
much of the part time work when ended up i guess
70% of the work is done by us,the girls! bleargh!
but still,he own us food! yes fooddddd! im waiting!
Or maybe he shud give us commission right?
like maybe half of his pay! maybe that will be great!
Hahhhh! & went to Wendy's just now!
Was quite unsure how would it taste like! but yeah,
it is not as BAD as i thought it would be!
Ni khairul & shaz laa! brainwashed me! i really
thought e end result will not be nice.
but yeah,it kindof not worth
the money actually. but yeah,its nice tho!
so,okay lah! the baked potatoes IS A MUST TO TRY!
DAMN DELISH i tell you! MyGod! i feel like
getting it AGAIN tmr! but no! not tmr!
cause im so lazy to go out or maybe ill grab someone
along with me just to get my baked potatoes! :D
Had a long day actually today! had a great talk with
Sabreena over at the bustop. yeah,i missed 5 buses
in total! thanks eh sab! haha!
we do talked alot. but at certain times ill just have to mute
myself. cause i think if i talk,i think ill just teared
in any minutes! hahaha! but yeah,thanks sab
for the "long" talk! HAHA!
& before going bed ive always have this thoughts,
all those kindof thoughts like,
"What If I Never Do That?"
i know,no use saying What If cause its already over.
But,when everytime i ponder back things i did to ppl,
hurt their feelings in anyways,
i feel so bad. its like,ill ask myself,
"What If I Never Do That?"
Ive always questioned myself that.
But little do i know,it already over,i cant mend whatever
thing i did to ppl anymore.
Sorry is a only word that i can say. But Sorry
cant bring back someone self back to normal.
Till now,im still guilty. Guilty for being
sucha pain in the ass girl.
For once,i feel so hopeless.

Farewell gathering. Dx

2010-10-13T00:43:00.003+08:00

hello babies! yes,my bad! i know ive been leaving this little
space of mine for so long already! sorry okay! heh!
so much things to say but im too lazy to elaborate more!
but recently,had a farewell gathering for ms lydia
my now,former mentor! yes,shes leaving us for good! ):
we got a new mentor! but yeah,according to ms lydia,
shes a nice mentor! but yeah,yet to know her & hopefully
she is just as nice as what ms lydia said! (:
after seoul garden-ing,we had an impromptu idea!
we went for K-boxing! hahahaha! damn fun okayyyy!
at first i was like,err,sing?! on e mic for e first time
infront of everyone? its like,not my forte at all k!
so much of the fun and laughter! i laugh really alot!
enjoyed my day to the fullest actually!
& guess wht? even sabreena and the mic cannot be
separated! she can be seen holding the mic almost all
the time! thats how fun k-boxing can be! heh!
i dont mind going again! So,anyone,please bring me along if
you wna go k-boxing okay! :D
tmr out with the girls to wendy's! pretty excited
cause i miss each & everyone of them!
sure alot to talk about one! heh!
& im so lazy to upload all the pics here cause the pictures
taken accumulated about 200pics! so,if you wna see,
go to my fb & see it for the rest of the hundreds
pictures k! heh!
till here sweetbloghopper!
will update again soon!
Goodnight!
Xoxo.
(:

Alhamdullilah! (:

2010-09-28T22:33:00.002+08:00

idk why but im addicted to bruno mars song,
-just the way you are.
it somehow reminds me of you. hell yes,you boy.
idk why. but i just feel like thrs a link liketht.
smth likethat laa huh!
& ALHAMDULILLAH! I PASSED ALL MY EXAMS
MODULE! ALL 8 OF THEMMMM!!!!
Yayyyyy! happiness! but yeah,still got year 2.2 to come!
will try to improve! try to get all Cs next sem!
InsyaAllah! (:
& polyclinic posting already end.
ive gott no comment for tht posting.
it is somehow enjoyable. but the staff there,
i mean, ONE OF THE STAFF THERE!
made my life went all miserable. ive shud have complain
back about her. but well,i shall keep it to myself.
no use pondering about it anymore cause its
already over! pfft.
& im now attached over at imh. kindof intresting seeing
all sort of patients. at first i really FREAK out. but yeah,
im okay for the next day! well done to me!
*apatatmyshoulder* :D
so far,i know at least 10 of my patients name out
of 48?! wahhh! big achievement! heh!
will try to memorize all their names by this week!
next week case study! & allowed to work in group!
so,shall see howww!
now,im off to bed. gna wake up by 5 later on! ):
Goodnight all!
Sugar dreams!
xx
(:

attachments. XD

2010-09-22T01:33:00.003+08:00

favourite cousin! (:

Polyclinic posting has been fine!
the staff there are so nice! so friendly!
worth my time attached there i suppose! (:
& i learned alot there!
& polyclinic do surprised me alot too!
i dint expect to learn this much! but yeah,i did!
another 3more days & im off for imh posting! (:
somehow im sad cause it like,you've create a bond
with the staff you work with for a day but then
the next day you got to go to the other place.
its not nice you see! they are definitely a great
nurses to work with! adorably cute! haha! (:
okay,im off to sleep now! need to wake up pretty
early! eventho i start work at 8! pfft.
Goodnight all! (:

moved. not literally.

2010-09-16T01:14:00.004+08:00

heh heh heh! did my tumblr already!
i tot of doing it like eons ago! okay,bedek k.
but yeah. if you wna visit my tumblr,it'll be
www.intricateaffection.tumblr.com
basically that place will be the place i express my
thoughts,feelings thru qoutes i come across to!
ill not abandon this dearest diary baby of mine of
cause! ill write in too! but i guess often there.
but ill promise to write in here at least,
once a week k!
*twist*
Xoxo.

What can i do?

2010-09-16T00:01:00.000+08:00

I tried telling myself that I don't like you.
But when my heart's beating this fast,
what can I do?

attachment no fun.

2010-09-15T03:19:00.003+08:00

in a few days time,Attachment gna start already.
i heard from some of my friends,
attachment over at IMH wsnt tht great?
they got scared rather then enjoying it!
*Yikes* okay,im damn scared now okay.
i was so excited at first. but after i heard abt it from
some of them,i got scared,paranoid. mixed feelings.
somemore idk if my ward im going is a male or
female ward. and its not an acute ward patients.
its e long term one. so,it'll be more scary that kind
of thing. but,i hope,it'll goes on smoothly!
but before gg to IMH,i gna go to Pasir Ris polyclinic first.
yes,like wtf right? so far?! pfft.
& im so delighted that dad gna send me off to IMH
if im having morning shift. & probably gna fetch me home
after my afternoon shift! im a happy girl!
heh heh heh! :D
going out with the madrasah peeps. i hope it goes on well.
i still dk what i should wear.
either kebaya or baju kurong. tsk!
okay,its like 4.10am already!
gna sleep now!
got to wake up pretty early later on. i hope
i can wake up early! muahahahahahah!
Okay,Goodnight all!
((((((((((((((((:

that is what love is all about.

2010-09-12T23:49:00.000+08:00

" Love isnt all about physical attraction
but its about how s/he accept us for
whoever we really are. "

selamat hari ray.

2010-09-11T23:30:00.003+08:00

its 2nd day of Syawal already!
& so,
SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI!
to all the muslim people! (:
this year is kindof memorable one for me?
for me to know for you all to find out! (((:
so,i got this chance to seek forgiveness to all
my readers if let say,while you all reading this
lil space of mine,you girls/boys got hurt in anyway,
im sorry. but well,its my "sincere" thoughts when
im typing to this lil space of mine you know!
heh! so yes,for the muslims peeps,enjoy your raya
while it last kay! cause one month of fasting with
those unsightly things you've got to go thru,
is not easy! REALLY!
& the ones whom thinking of raya-ing just for $,
think about it again,IF YOU KNOW WHATS
THE TRUE MEANING OF RAYA,
YOU'RE ASHAME TO EVEN GET THE RAYA
MONEY! seriously!
thats why,sometimes i rather not let anyone to come to
my house. cause i know their thinking.
well,if your hurt by this,
sorry again. but,this is my little space im typing away,
i type to express not to impress anyone of you.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA
MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN!
*xoxo (:

last day of ramadhan. DX

2010-09-09T18:32:00.002+08:00

today marks the last day of ramadhan! ):
as much as i wanted ramadhan to stay alil bit longer,
it have to go right?
in awhile's time,gna hear Takbir raya.
& thats my weakness.
i cant hear takbir raya. ill immediately cry.
dont ask me why. boooo! )':
& EXAMS ARE OFFICIALLY OVERRRRRRR!!!!
YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
its a GREAT relieve okay! but,nevertheless,
im hoping for the best for all my module.
atleast a pass? who the hell wants to fail
any of the module right eventho you know you dint
put in much effort! but well!
results will show! heh! (:
Okay,off to chongpang with mom!
will update again tonight!
BYE! :D

i simply cant.

2010-09-08T02:54:00.001+08:00

"No matter how much you tell yourself
you're over someone,
your heart knows the truth."

yes, thats the truth,
i just cant get over you.
no matter how much i tried.
))))))))))):

imissyoubaby.

2010-09-08T02:45:00.002+08:00

at this point of time,
i need this boy.
just this boy to make me smile & laugh.
Aunty miss you baby.
So much.
& amazingly, i cried cause i miss him too much.
the power of Love.
yes, I Love Him that much.

exams feverrrr.

2010-09-05T21:58:00.002+08:00

i just realize how long my hair is! erm,but to me,
not that long leh? i want longer. haha!
& yes,coloured my hair last friday!
i shall not comment much but im in love with
my hair colour itself! so,if you see me,yes,
thats my current hair colour! LOL!

i got another exam paper on tuesday!
which is in two days time. SIGH!
& i swear,my brain just cldnt suck in any
info. even worst to memorize any info
in! & great thing,its BIOLOGY!!!!
i got like another sem till im free from Bio!
& that is,till year 3! my last year in NYP.
booooo! gna miss the classmates so much!
mostly the close cliques! *sobs*
okay,i guess i better study for my Bio.
its already tiga malam terakhir of ramadhan.
i gna miss this so much tho. haish.

ps ; i just got this tots,
Money means everything to ppl.
But money can also make ppl blind.
blind = arrogant, LOVE TO BRAG, show off
and the list can goes on.
i mean, Oh please! if you buy smth that is like
so EXP you do not need to exaggerate it
& if you wna buy smth that cost a BOMB, you dont
need to say, you dk if you shud buy or not
and ended up buying it & still complain, like,
IM SAD MY MONEY IS GONE!
oh, you can fcking fcuk the ass off.
cause i simply hate this type of ppl.
& unfortunately,im surround with a couple
of them around. be it in sch,be it anywhere!
Please, safe my ears from all this will you?
LOL!
im sorry if this is harsh & if this can hurt anyone's
feelings. but, if this hurts you, MAYBE,
your one of them!
so,think about it again!
(:

Ranting.

2010-09-02T06:35:00.003+08:00

Exams already started. today is my 3rd paper!
after today,2 left! i just cant wait for exams to end you know!
next paper is bio & follow by ab psy & behaviour mod!
& yet to study for the last two paper.
got 5days to bio paper & new 2days for the last one.
but not to worry,the last one only mcq.
but yeah,i screwed e paper as in the class test!
i got F. Hahahahaha!
infact,more then half of the class got an F for the
paper. yes,that particular paper is simply bullshit.
set so difficult for what!
lecturers nowadays becoming irritating. hah!
& i dint tell you yet right hows my Adult nursing paper?
TOTALLY SCREWED!!!!!
screwed you ms tang! at tht point of time while doing e
paper,i saw you,i feel like going towards you &
strangle you to dead.
why not?!
because,this pathetic irritating lecturer,
did consolidation for us. yes,she did.
you must say,if she did,why im still angry right?
infact not only me. if you got all the nursing kids
fb,ALL OF THEM is RANTING ON HOW
shitty the paper was! completely absurd! tsk!
even one of my lecture mate shouted,
"THIS IS THE BEST CONSOLIDATION EVER"
because?
Consolidation,lecturers suppose to give us atleast tips
on SAQ qns what will come out and stuff.
like if 3 topic will come out,at least give us
5 topics and tell us,either 3 will come out.
SHE DID NOT DO THAT!
she just practically said to all of us,
ALL WILL COMEOUT!
okay,cursed her kay.
and all of us got like NIL expectation on what
will comeout. cause its like,theres plenty of topics!
like REALLY ALOT! about 30 lectures to study?!
yes,tell me about it!
i really got no hope & im all ready for the subpaper.
Sigh bigbig ah!
so unlucky got this type of lecturer.
like malay say ah,
"makan gaji buta"
one of example this lecturer ah! idiot!
& pharmacology paper was sweet! haha!
SAQ paper,i feel like hugging e lecturer whom set
the paper! really like,photocoy leh one of e qn!
but the Mcq,kinda tricky.
sigh. its okay. i just hope for a pass.
& if i pass for my Adult nursing,ill be amazed!
that will be a miracle! heh!
its 7am.
gna start mugging for my Mental health paper!
you know,i havent start studying for it! & lucky enuf
e paper starts at 4pm & ends at 6!

& saying about that,ystd afternoon,came back from sch,
i took a short nap & set my alarm at 6pm!
so,when it rang at 6,
I WAS LITERALLY ON A PANICKY MODE!
cause i thought,that im late for my
mental health exams! i was like,
shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit!
Hahahahahahhahahahahahah! & yes,i realize,
the day have yet to pass lor.
& tell you what?
IT HAPPENS TO ME EVERY EXAMS PERIOD!
sigh! please lor,dont make me feel this way laa.
can die of heart attack like this!
heh! okay! off for now!
takecare & wish me luck for my exams will you?
*wink*

A badbad day.

2010-08-30T23:17:00.002+08:00

A disastrous week for me starts today! Big Sigh!
tmr Adult Nursing paper! wed,pharmaco,
thurs mental health!
stressstressstressstressstressstressstressstress!

i was shock, speechless when she said smth
that brought me to tears.
idk what to say. i dont know how i should react.
i dont know what to do. just by typing this,im tearing.
idk when can all this end?
Dint he know about this?
Dint he even bother to stop everything?
Why isnt he is the one whom be responsible of
all this? Why must be her not him? Why?!
Your testing my patience. ive lost all my trust in you.
& bit by bit. im losing respect to you.
Ive tried my best not too. but your way to much.
i wont deny that im starting to hate you.
But you see,i respect you that much that
I CANT AFFORD TO HATE YOU!
why cant you understand me? why cant you
understand us? ATLEAST! understand her.
i dont ask for much. Okay,i dont need you to understand us.
BUT JUST HER. if you want me to beg you,i will.
Just for her,i will.
But,do you even bother? NO! you did not.
you ALWAYS think about yourself.
you & your EGO!
but when your in tight situation,you look for her.
but,when shes in tight situation,
do you even care about her? do you even
try to help her? NO!
YOU CREATE MORE TROUBLE!
you know,at this point of time,i cant do anything
as much as i wanted.
Karma is a bitch if you are one.
You get what you give,either you give it negatively
or positively.

Just please,stop creating problems.
You would think i know non. but i know alot.
Allah itu maha kuasa.
If you keep doing this,dont be surprise if one day
theres nil respect to you.
& i mean it!

Ya Allah,Kuatkanlaa dia. Sesungguhnya doa
sahaja yg boleh aku tolong sekarang ini.
Amin.

things never been easy.

2010-08-29T01:51:00.003+08:00

I may appear like one strong girl.
but the fact im not. deep down there,
i nearly lost the battle.
but im trying my best to hang it on there.
not for myself. but most importantly for mom.
idk why must all this happen in one go?
Dugaan terlalu kuat for me & my family
have to go thru. one after another problem.
ive got to be strong.
i must.
hopefully im thru for my work interview.
pray for me you all?
till here,im back to study.
exams in 2days time.
ive got no more time to lose.
i just cant wait exams to be over!
the more raya coming,the more stress i am.
takecare ya'all!
Goodnight!

emotionless.

2010-08-28T14:34:00.002+08:00

"sincerely,I juz want to c u hapi with
ur swit big smile on ur face:)"

Seriously,i dont know how to react when i read
this from your status update.
idk if i shud feel happy or sad? idk.
and then i just realize,
i still cant move on. im still stuck on the
line btw to forget you & not to forget you.
You know,how difficult to forget abt you?
no,you dont.
you can take it as easy as you can.
not for me. i may sound exaggerating but hey,
8years is not a short period.
i just hope ill nvr see you anywhere down the
street. its not the fact i do not want to see you.
but i cant afford too.
i know,ive got to let it go slowly.
soon,i will.
i promise.
*crossfinger*

I HATE YOU!

2010-08-27T00:54:00.004+08:00

Break fast with Nina syg and aizan over at BBQ chicken.

God only knows how full three of us are. hahaha!

but it nice catching up with two of this

"prince & princess" *puke*

hahahaha! but still,loveyou both kay! *wink*

afterwards,bids goodbye to aizan as hes off to fetch

his girlf. so,me & nina off to macd get our dessert

& had a girls talk. more to heart to heart talk

actually. what else if its not about boys right?

hahaha! okay laa,not so much about boys.

70% abt boys oths all about our future.

i nearly cried while talking to nina. shes the only one

whom i can express everything out. maybe shes the

only one whom i can talk things out to.

you know,shes the only girlfriend i trust?

as in,my deepest thoughts and all,yes,shes the

only one whom i can said everything all out to.

you know,i hate it when the topic about boys

comes along. nina been trying her best to say

i dsnt look tht bad and stuff. but you know,

when you got a bad exprience,one after another,

your self-esteem just dropped low. way low then you

expected. so,whenever or whoever said you look

pretty,nice,beautiful,gorgeous or what it is,it does not

brings that high self-esteem back again.

maybe one day. but that day will not be like tmr

or next week or even next month. probably it'll

take years for some. for me,i guess forever. HAH!

well,thanks for you whom recently made me

become likethis. i know,you'll not read this in

anyway. but i pray for karma to hit back to you

really hard. May Allah bless you in everything

you do and trust me,ill never forget what you

did. NEVER in my entire whole life.

cause you've somehow destroy apart of my

life. thank you mister.

dont be surprise if one day you see me & i give you

face that indicates alot of hatred.

cause to me,you deserve that so much.

& i feel stupid,so stupid,way stupid

for crying.

cause,you does not worth

my tears. you does not worth

anything. i feel dumb,i feel like an idiot,

i feel like a clown to you.

& i feel stupid for

falling.

for falling ~~for you~~

all day long.

2010-08-24T21:17:00.000+08:00

IF CRYING CAN SOLVE ALL PROBLEMS,
I DONT MIND CRYING ALL DAY LONG.

starting to hate you.

2010-08-24T17:56:00.001+08:00

‎If you know how much she
sacrifice for all of us,
You wldnt have the cheek to said all that.
I swear, im totally disappointed in you.

Torres baby. hee hee hee.

2010-08-20T02:22:00.006+08:00

a peak,erm not a peak laa. but above are all the
pics taken during my iftar with the madrasah mates
and the oth half with lea & monifie when they came down to NYP
just a few days ago! :D
did i tell you i miss my classmates alot?
okay,not the whole class ah,
the close clique! but gna meet some of the clique this
coming mondayyy! Yayyyy! heh!
ive got smth in mind when we all graduate. gna do smth
for each one of them in e class and as a whole too!
i hope we will all still be close till we turn 25?
i hope! tell you what! i guess this poly friends are the
closest to me? ( for what i think,& sab,i knw ur reading this
& i know you agree with me too! hahahaha! :P ) not even sec friends
nor primary sch friends. maybe,because poly all already grown up?
EXCEPT FOR SOME! (sab,you know i know huh! HAHAHAHA!)

now,im eating maggie mee for my pre dawn meal.
urm,not gg to wake up later on eventho ill sleep at 4 or 5am?
damn me okay. ive been sleeping abt tht timing eversince
holiday started! tell me about that. tsk! ):
but i dont care,im watching liverpool match right now!
OhmyGoddddd! I saw MY TORRES BABYYYYYYY!
hot nye kauuuu! tergugat naluri seorg wanite sepertiku
ini! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
kay,whatever! will update again soon!
i wnt to watch my baby online now!
teeheehee! :P
Goodnight all!
& to all muslims,
Selamat Bersahor! (:

Definitely i do.

2010-08-17T04:15:00.002+08:00

time check,its 4.20am!
& seriously,i was damn tired when im on my way home
after break my fast with my madrasah peeps.
and i wanted to sleep right away once i wash up and stuff.
BUT-I-DID-NOT-DO-SO!
tsk! my body clock seriously cannot make it! ):
now,im waiting till subor,to do my prayers
and sleep. cause its like only an hour left.
to always kadak made me guilty too!
so,shall tahan till waktu!
seriously,i think i got a minor insomnia!
i tends to sleep REALLY LATE! like this kindof timing
& wake up VERY EARLY! like 9 or 10am?
so,i only have like 4-5hours of sleep per day!
and more heartbreaking is,IM HAVING HOLIDAYS NOW!
you know,its like ;
HOLIDAYS = LONG HOURS OF SLEEP
BUT,me? my sleeping time got shorten up!
How sadddddd! ):
And ive got to meet amalina at 10.30 to civics.
got some mission to do! *nodshead*
hahahahahahaha!
then off to meet sabreena to study!
exams is in 2weeks time! seriously,
ive not yet start mugging for real.
just did my past years paper.
i hope Pharmaco & adult nursing paper
will be easy?
And as much as i hope it will be,it will turn
out the other way round!
well! this is life! its okay!
i know i can do it!
;D

Mesmerized.

2010-08-16T01:48:00.004+08:00

Alhamdulillah! its already the 6th day of puasa!
Mine went smoothly!
eventho theres some obstacle ive got to go thru.
Like,when i babysit babynephew,
ive got to feed him food & when i do,
i will always either eat with him also
cause my time spent on him is like the whole
day that i dont think i got the time to even
eat unless hes asleep! but
most of the time,when hes asleep ill either
sleep together with him or ill do the housechores!
see! i sacrifice alot leh! hahhahahaha!
and speaking abt baby nephew,
he've grown wayyyyyy too fast!
becoming more noisy you know!
haha. but that is not a negative thing for me.
its a positive one.
OhGod! ive start missing him already eventho
he just went back earlier on just now! ):
he can barely walk?
like atleast three steps?
InsyaAllah,more to come okay babyboy?
aunty love you more then i love myself.
so,i hope you'll not forget me when you've grown up.
cause aunty will turn into incredible hulk if you do so!
HAHAHAHAHAH! fierce pe aku! heh!
listening to raihan songs in youtube.
those songs when i hear when im still little.
some songs did made me cried.
gna download this songs & sing it to babynephew!
so,he'll grow up with this songs just like me!
one of which,i sing for him since hes still a baby is this
Subahannallah song. that is his sleeping song.
sing that till he sleep!

so,i going to download those raihan songs and sing
to him & make sure when he know how to
talk,he'll sing that songs all to me!
hahahah! so,please,say im a good aunty will you?
nyeheheheheh!
okay,shall go and read my novel & sleep now!
Goodnight!
& selamat bersahor all!
(:

No words can describe this feelings........

2010-08-12T02:32:00.010+08:00

If you girls/guys are wondering what i get
for my nineteen birthday,
here you go! (:
& ps ; pictures heavy & this gna be a very
longgggggggggggggggggggggggggggg
post! heh! & you can also find oth pictures
over at my fb! (:

A dress from Jaseema darling. (:

i told you that Elton knit me a cute lil bag for me?
yes,here you go! this is the one ive been mentioning
about all this while!
he is so sweet till i can can get diabetes ah!
hahahahahaha! k,whatever! heh!

From 2nd brother's gf!
So sweet of her okay!
& this frame IS EDIBLE!
& idk if i shud eat it anot cause right,the smell of it
is overwhelming & i know,the ants gna eat it
before i do! sister,please buy for me another one k!
& make sure tht one no smell! hahaha! :P

& this is from dearest Cousin!
A BIG bday card from her & a bag from Isetan i suppose!
Omg cuzz,your ultra sweet okay!
i dint expect all this! thank you so much dear!
:-*
(& btw,my name no 'h' hor! hahahah!)

& this is from aunt!
so sweet lor! i wnted this. asked mom to buy for me
& she said,as a bday present she buy for me this.
i was like,woah,mom?
and mom just smile. -.-
Thank you aunty! hehe! :D

& this is from My first brother & Sisinlaw!
The sinfully awesomely heavenly yummy cake ever!
& it cost a bomb too for this small cake!
ahhhh! the cake gone alreadyy! boo! ):
& the coach bag! thanks you too!
i love you both truckloads. Xoxo.

____________________________________________________________________

& 10august,went out with the classmates
to ECP. the plan to me was abt to ruin when i
said to sab I DONT WANT TO GO!
HAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAAH!
tau pon eh gelabah! heh! sorry eh sab!
cause i think you plan ah,really ah!
tht is why im the event organizer of the class instead
of you eh! now i know! muahahahahha! XD
& i was like ranting to sab why on earth
we go to ECP just to eat where we
can go somewhere nearer to eat and stuff.
& i know,shes just smiling like one kambing there.
i know smth was up. but i just ignore.
cause i was thinking,cannot be ah. like very ridiculous.
& so,the plan was planned awesomely
& im totally speechless till i dk how to react,
I SWEAR!
so,shall let the pictures do the talking?
Okay,go! (:

I SWEAR I GOT DECEIVED BY THE FOREVER 21 BAG!
they so smart lor! hahahahaha!

SO SWEET RIGHT THE BDAY CARD?!?!??!!?
eventho its pink,it is one of my fav! dont worry babies!
hee. loveloveloveloveloveeee! (:
& they bought for me this,

TADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Yes! a Guess wallet! i wnted to cry but i took control
of my tears! aww,how sweet!
seriously,i swear,it is just so sweet of them!
awwwwww. (':

Ah ling did for me a card above!
so sweet leh! so nice! aww,so touched!
lovelove you darling! (:

above,the one who made it happened!
there shud be more of them. but due to some circumstances,
they cldnt make it But! i can feel their
soul there! cheyyyy! hahahahaha!
THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE!
you know,the best bday gift is the one ill treasure the most is,
the handmade card.
haha! i may sound bias. but,seriously,
i do. because,its VERY sincere & while you all doing
it,you guys are thinking abt me.
how sweet right! heh heh heh!
Okay! its like 4am in the morning?!
i shall sleep now cause ive eaten earlier on!
so,Goodmorning all!
love each & everyone of you to bits!

& HAPPY RAMADHAN TO
ALL MUSLIMS!

best august ever! (;

2010-08-09T01:41:00.005+08:00

Here is the pictures during YOG in NYP
on 7th august & elective presentation on 6th august!
I missed Flashmobbing & gg home late night!
ill rmbr this for life! i swear,for sure!
& so,enjoy this pic! e rest you can find at
my facebook! (:

See the crowd at the brigdes?!?!? awesome or what!

THEY'RE BEING SARCASTIC! hahahahah!

When the DJ(S) starts to get their job going,
this is waht happened to the crowd!

Entrepreneurship Elective!

somehow i love this picture collage i did!
(:

sucha wonderful weekend! august isnt bad afterall!
got good remarks from pharmoco lecturer reg our
presentation! passed my BCLS theory i supposed!
& so,IM PROUD TO SAY THIS,
IM QUALIFIED TO DO CPR RIGHT NOWWWW!
hahahahahaha! XD
but.... not till i get the license yet! heh!
& elective presentation went well!
& so YOG flashmob too!
Alhamdulillah! i wldnt forget this year august
ever! i wished this will never end. but,it
have to right? i gna miss those
cute eyecandies. HEHEHEHEHE!
those laughing non stop hit till my stomach pain
and all! Greatgreat time spent together! loved! (:

& guess what?
went to expo just now with the family!
saw this booth which selling pure belgium cake.
its heavenly awesomely taste niceeeee!
it cost 28bucks for half kg?
IT IS EXPENSIVE!
told mom,i wnt it. (as my bday cake cause i dint
get one for my day on fri! so,being tak tau malu child,
i demand for one!)
but,mom dont wnt to buy for me! ):
& little do i know,
its either first bro or sisinlaw bought for me one!
omg! i was shocked! suddenly,first bro
just said,'nah! your cake!'
i was asking who bought it for me & both
dont wnt to tell who!
so,i thanked them endlessly. haha!
so touched! awww. (':
& shortwhile,dearest cousin came & passed me
my bday present! sucha sweetheart!
she bought for me a hangbag from Isetan i suppose
& she did a HUGE bday card for me!
so blardy sweet! i swear! haha!
& not forgetting,aunt bought for me
a adidas small handbag kindof thing with
the perfume & deo in also!
how sweet! thank you so much!
my weekend was awesomely spent!
i love you all to bits.
its 3am now.
shall go to bed now!
Goodnight all!
& not forgetting,

HAPPY 45th SINGAPORE!
:D

19 is just a number.

2010-08-07T08:32:00.003+08:00

yes,it was ystd! wnted to update ystd but i came
home near to 12am! due to this bloody YOG! -.-
and so,
Happy 19th to me! LOL!
19 is just a number right? BUT! this also
indicates my last teenage year! hate it so much!
how i wish i can stay being sweet 17 all the way! haha!
this year wsnt a goodgood year.
i feel its like a normal ordinary day.
i got pissed,i got irritated,got angry,everything!
but nevertheless,those wishes i got thru fb,
smses & the calls do made my day to the fullest.
never forget abt the present i got from some of them!
from first bro,i got a coach handbag! he gave me
advance,thanks so much brother!
i got a dress from jaseema too! thanks darling! (:
& elton being sucha sweetheart,he knitted
this little bag for me. when i said,knit.
i really mean it. a guy who knit?!
impossible right?! & its very neat toooo!
so sweet of him! ill upload the pictures of
it for u guys to see! *wink*
& lastly,2nd bro's gf bought for me,idk what is
it called. smth like frame. with picture inside
& the yummy thing is,IT EDIBLE! hahahaha!
thanks so much sis! Enjoy your holiday over at desaru okay!
those wishes i got from fb dint stop making me
smile & laugh. hahahahaha! & i took
2hours to reply all those comments!
IMAGINE!
so tired you know! hahaha!
Okay,its 8.45am.
I NEED TO BE IN SCHOOL BY 10AM! ):
all due to the irritating YOG!
today is the day!
& i can guaranteed i gna end up late!
cause the event starts in the evening!
BOH-RINGGGGGGGG!~~~~
but still,do enjoy your day people!
Have a nice day!
(:

& OH! did i tell you all that TAUFIK BATISAH
WISHED ME THRU TWITTER?!?!??!
hahahahaha! HE DID! you know,thts
the best ever thing ever happened for my
19th birthday!
*wink*

all those feelings.........

2010-08-04T23:44:00.003+08:00

feels really humiliated!
dont ask me why i feel that way.
but i do. dont worry,i gna delete you
off from my fb sooner or later.
this not gna help.
this gna be my last time doing this shit.
yes,when i said last,i mean it.
not gna make a fool of myself
and embarrassed myself like this again.
total embarrassment!
i can simply cry but no,ive learned not to!
cause i know there will be consequences
on each & every things i do.
so,this consequences really make me feel
so ashamed of myself. like TOTALLY!
its like as same as like,
my dignity being stepped just likethat.
well,this is my faith. & lesson learned!
at least,ive said everything before its too
late right?
Goodnight all!

Alhamdullilah. (:

2010-08-03T01:10:00.002+08:00

Lets bid Goodbye to July &
welcome August! :D
yes,its 3rd of august now already.
omg. so fasttttttttttttt!
& ystd was my BCLS test & Mental Health
presentation! if some of you are wondering what
is BCLS is,its a CPR test. yes,the one you got to
blow mouth to mouth that kindof thing to save people.
yes! that thing! haha!
i tell you,I WAS DAMN NERVOUS LIKE HELL!
seriously! as 3-4 i got MH presentation.
after that my BCLS test from 4onwards!
who wldnt be nervous i tell you?!??!?!
& the aftermath result?!?!?!!?

I GOT FREAKING FULL MARKS FOR MY
MENTAL HEALTH PRESENTATION
& I PASSED ALL MY 4 MODULES OF
BCLS TEST!
ALHAMDULLILAH!
NO WORDS CAN DESCRIBE HOW HAPPY
I AM! FOR REAL! I SWEAR!
Thank God!
congrats to my groupmates too!
each & everyone of them did a very great job!
esp Peijiun! can be top actress already!
hahahahahahahaha! (:
now! time to concentrate on my theory BCLS test
& my last two presentation!

wed - BCLS theory test
thurs - Pharmocology presentation
fri - Entrepreneurship presentation

& till friday,ill have to stay in sch till
9bloody pm! due to YOG practice! ):
what a life!
even on friday! tsk!

Okay,im off to sleep now!
so sleepy already!
Goodnight all!

time oh timeeeee!

2010-07-25T03:22:00.004+08:00

Wonder how fast time fly pass?
its already 25july! another 6 more days to 1st august!
& tht really scared the shit out of me.
ive got alot to prepare for next week & not forgetting
for the oth week!
im having my CPR test next week!
ive got to Ace this as i dint do well for my skills test.
I know i can do it,InsyaAllah i can do it!
i just want my holidays badly!
Fasting month is in 18days time?
So fastttttttttttttttttttttttttttt!
before raya,is my Finals.
then raya then my attachment & again!
back to school for my Year 2 Sem 2! how fast
time flies!
and i cant wait to officially start working!
i need a decent holidays with either family
or friends! its time for me to clear this piece of mind.
but,still,ive got a longlonglong way to go!
So yes,shall end here now!
the sofas is calling me.
& did i tell you tht babyboy is becoming more & more
talkative now?
its all in the genes! nope,obviously not me,but my mom!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
okay,goodnight all!
& enjoy your Sunday's people!
(:

never easy.

2010-07-24T02:03:00.005+08:00

"THE MOST PAINFUL THING IS
TO LOVE SOMEONE AND
NEVER FIND THE COURAGE
TO LET THE PERSON
KNOW HOW YOU FEEL"

eventho i did 'told' him so.
he dint know its me.
its never easy.
i did once. and i cant afford to do it
twice. i doubt hes reading this. cause
i know he dont even know if this blog do
exist. so,dont bother! (ok,confident mau lebeh)
hahahahaha!
so,back to the topic,
urm. i guess,telling off my feelings w/o him knowing
who am i dint ease this heart at all!
I SWEAR! (yes,im sucha an ass)
idk why. dont bother asking me why too.
i tell him,if i got the courage,i will
tell him who i am one day. IF i got the courage
to do so. prolly once he got married or smth?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
okay,im crapping right now.
its gna be 2.30am right now.
probably gna read up a lil & off to bed.
seriously,
this thing never fails to linger in my mind
all day long.
Goodnight sweetheart.

I just love it. (:

2010-07-21T01:05:00.003+08:00

Previously i blogged about i got my Bio notes
missing when im on my way to sch right?
& guess whats the aftermath result after doing
the test?

I GOT AN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
FOR MY BIOLOGY TESTTTTTTTTTT!
WOOOHOOOOOOOOOO!

you wldnt know how happy like mad girl i am!
i was like,immediate reaction,i hugged sabreena!
Omg! so unexpected! the highest i tot id get at least
a B not even B+ okay! Alhamdulillah!
im so happy & i called mom. ahhhhh!
if only mom beside me,id have hugged & kissed her endlessly!
haha! imagine,my first A for bio. haha! &
yes,it do pays off cause i lost my notes huh?
still sad okay! my hard word just burned likethat! tsk!
& next week,i got CPR test! damn stress,i swear!
Dorothy keep pressurizing me & seriously,
i got so demoralized with her words eventho
she meant really well. as in she dint criticize me or what.
but still,the way she do that made me really wna cry
but i hold me tears as much as i could.
pfft.
What a day!
i got 4 projects left! plus elective! wahlaooooo!
i dont like! ):
cause week 16 which is the first week of the month of august,
im having like 3 PRESENTATION ON THAT ONE WEEK?!
Year Two indeed making me wna hang myself to dead.
Stress until idk what ah! LOL!
okay,im back to my project!
shud be editting it from just now but i dint. HEH!
Goodnight & have a nice day!
Xoxo.
(:

Best Saturday Night Everrrr! XD

2010-07-18T16:07:00.003+08:00

I feel like running to them,this girls above & give each
& everyone of them a big hug! if a kiss is not restricted,
I WILL KISS THEM TOO! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
last night,was the happiest saturday night ever.
& the unusually ones too.
you wldnt know how happy i am till i cried.
yes,i do. im sucha silly girl. so pardon me about tht. heh!
ive never fail to reread again and again the reply i got.
i know,you all reading this might thinking something right!
but,no! nth special happen. The one who knows it will know it!
heh!
So,my saturday night was spent blissfully! LOL!
Okay,im off to expo right now!
& im damn hungryyy!
2more hours till break fast!
I got one more day left! yippyyy!
takecare & goodbye!
:D

not my day!

2010-07-15T20:19:00.001+08:00

Did i tell you that i PASSED MY SKILL TESTTT?!
Hell yes i didddd! damn happy! hehe!
thanks all for the goodluck charm.
love you all laa! heh! :D
& Damn Aizan! i asked him how to upload
Video from youtube to here.
HE LOL-ed at me like one idiot!
& i dont think he got what i mean! ass!
make me angery only! hahahaha!
& you know what! i think i damn suay tdy! ):
i slept at 4am last night just to finish up
doing my Bio notes as im having my prac
bio test later in the afternoon.
So,i hold those notes while walking to sch so i can study
too. But when im inside the train,
I REALISE I LOST MY NOTES!
the notes i did for hours & it just gone just likethat!
You know how sad & disappoint i am?!
i feel like crying okay!
im like lost of words! totally!
cause all the notes ive summarized in that note
& it just went missing without my knowing!
How pathetic! & i need to study from the book
& LUCKY! just my LUCK! i studied with
sab,kak mis& syahrin 2hours before the test
started! & Alhamdulillah! wht we studied came out
almost all. Almost!
but am satisfied! just a pass i dont mind! ^_^V
& lil bro is being sucha bitch.
if i can curse you to stay home 24hours,
i tell you i swear i will!
Dont blame anyone if you were to fail your Olevels.
Just a disgrace to the family.
Goodnight!

ps ;
& for once,i felt
humilated.

i can do it! (:

2010-07-14T09:15:00.002+08:00

in 2 hours time,im having my skill test.
Pray hard ill pass this thru! cant afford
to fail this anymore. Oh God! Please help
me in this. For once? Please?
Ill ensure you girls & Ms dorothy ill bring
good news to you all. Ill pass this.
Yes,i can do it!
May God bless me!
(:

i know i cant. ):

2010-07-13T20:34:00.004+08:00

Did i tell you that SPAIN won their
very first World Cup match this year?!?!?
heh! yes! they do!
Kudos to them & torres baby! please take a very
good care of yourself! it is so heart wrecking
seeing you likethat at the stadium!
if i got a super power,no doubt,ill fly down
and save you! chey,mcm paham! hahahaha!
pretty upset with 2nd brother!
wldnt want to elaborate much more about what.
He just freaking have to ask me first before
scolding me for goodness sake!
lucky your older than me.
Just so luckyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! -______-'

Had a boy talk with ama & fad in the sch library
earlier on just now.
yes,we're supposed to study but due to certain
circumstances. we forget abt it & talk. heh!
& when we do,i suddenly think about you.
yes,definitely hate this feelings.
but,yerp.
the true fact is,i dont think
i can ever forget about you.
Goodnight.

Never Say Never.

2010-07-10T23:44:00.003+08:00

Actually,i wanted to upload all the pictures here.
but im very lazy to do so! so,i decide to upload
this sungguh comel 'wolf' picture!
*chuckle*

Life is pretty unfair right sometimes?
People who dsnt deserve things they shud not get,get it.
But people who deserve things they shud get,dint get it.
no,im not complaining. but,till when this ppl
gna learn their mistake or lesson?
im not jealous or what. but kindof
disappointed. with this ppl and also myself.
you know its kindof devastating to be in this
kindof situation.
no one wants to. not even me. and im sure not
even you,my readers.
but still,life MUST go on.
but im glad,when im on the mere of
giving up,my friends are there telling me not to.
Family are there giving me sort of advices so ill
not and NEVER give up.
You know,when i thought ive got nobody in this world,
i realize,i was wrong. i still got somebody.
Haiya. okay,stop all my nonsense!
next week,another horrendous week for me.
bio test,Skill test (Again! -.-),drug test
and finish up Projects!
My life now is all about Projects.
yes,that interesting! LOL!

waiting for Germany&Uruguay match later on.
& tmr will be Spain&Holland!
So,torres baby,i know,you can do it!
*wink*
heh!
Goodnight all!
:D

Kiowa gordon is lovedddddd. :D

2010-07-09T23:04:00.004+08:00

TELL ME HES HOTTTTT!
OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!
(sorry torres baby,ive got to put u aside for awhile,
and i promise to take you back! i swear! HAHAHAHA!)
Hes one of the guy that attracts me the most in
twilight ecplise! Damn hot la! i was like
aww-ing non stop in the cinema until fad asked me
to keep quiet! HAHAHAHA! sorry fad!
emosi tak bole control! hehehe!
& the newborn vampire is super hot i swear!
but not as hot as the 'wolf' above.
yes,he is one of the wolves!
& now,i so cannot wait for the next twilight movie!
Movie kakis please eh!
& ama,next time control hormone eh please!
hahahahahahhahaha!
Oh ya! his name is KIOWA GORDON!
yes,weird name. he was born in arizona if i
did my research correctly!
he can sing too! & the most exciting part is,
HES ONLY 20! OMGXZXZXZX!
*melt*
hahahahahahahahahaha! :P

On the flipside,tdy isnt a very good day for me laa.
yes,a VERY BAD day.
but still,i feel so bad making everyone worried about me.
sorry girls. you know,ill be alright. thank
you for the smses ill be fine! no doubt! (:
somemore the lecturer kanasai. hah!
still,thank god i got a 2nd chance.
Alhamdullilah.
Oh yes,Did i tell you Octopus Paul predicted
SPAIN WILL WIN THIS YEAR WORLD CUP!?!?!?
mad excited okay!
& seriously,if hes wrong again,
ill kill him and cook tokoyaki! :D
Till then.
Goodnight.
(:

ps ; You isnt a guy i know all this while.
isit you changed or isit me who
did not know the real you yet?
Oh boy,im starting to dislike you now.

Happy Birthday kak mis! :D

2010-07-07T19:54:00.003+08:00

To the lady above,
HAPPY 23RD BIRTHDAY
KAK MISLIANAAAA!
May Allah bless you in everything you do &
may you excel in studies!
Hope those surprises & presents we gave you
really made your day & really
surprised you!
Was shocked you cried and im touched cause
she really appreciate what we did for her!
And i think i teared abit?
awwwwwww.
sucha sweetheart.
photos will be up soon!
infact ive yet to show u guys photos from babyboy
bday! and previous ones too!
simply said,im pure lazy! HEHEHE!
& Im so excited for Spain & Germany game later on!
Octopus Paul said,Spain will win this game!
Shall see if this is true!
Because if its not,
i so gna find that octopus
& cook tokoyaki!
Okay,bye!
:D

hate to say this.

2010-07-04T13:54:00.002+08:00

Dont blame me for falling for you.
You trip me.
So,blame YOU!

i hate the feelings. ):

2010-07-03T21:08:00.002+08:00

So near yet so far.
Id be lying if i said i dint enjoy my every second
there. i do. very much do.
Was totally oblivious abt the presence.
& you wldnt know how shock i am to see.
and know ...... came.
Eventho there wsnt any communication,
nothing!
The end part of it was an epic.
& thus it result me,no,not me literally.
My heart,yes,my heart beats faster then the usual.
I hate it cause ive got
to go thru again the cycle ive just went
thru not long ago.
you know,its not easy.
i take months.
i tot im near to success.
but again,i fail.
i fail to forgot you.

SPAIN,DID IT! :D

2010-06-30T04:33:00.005+08:00

Spain Vs Portugal match just Ended not long ago!
Guess what?!
SPAIN DID IT!
WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!
So,Portugal supporter,dont be sad.
you can still continue supporting Spain if you
want to! HAHAHA!
David Villa is one of the Alien Creature that Spain
cant really afford to lose for!
That guy is freaking good i tell you!
FREAKING AWESOME!
So,later in school,i gna mock back at those ppl whom
have been mocking me on Spain lately.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
im the happiest kid in this house! hehehe!
time check,4.40am.
gna mug for exams later awhile & then sleep!
Goodmorning all!
((((((((:

SPAIN FTW!
:DDDDDDD

All comes back to square 1.

2010-06-25T19:42:00.002+08:00

I read somewhere,
they said,'if you dream about that someone
it means,that person wants to meet/see you.'
Yes,a miracle. i dreamt about you last night.
it was a short one but yet,
it do made a impact on e rest of my day
once i wake up from sleep.
& i dont think its true.
Why on earth would you even want to see/meet
me right?
Those quotes are totally bullshit.
& i hope ill not see you next week also.
*crossfinger*

misses.

2010-06-23T20:41:00.003+08:00

You know your tired for
being mad/angry/upset at someone when
you cldnt be bother to talk to him/her
anymore.
& i guess,Friends are just Friends who
will only come & go.
Like what exactly Fad told me.
Yes,exactly. im paranoid.
very much i am.
*period.
I hella miss my Baby Iqraam.
Friday faster come please?
):

new specs. (:

2010-06-23T03:05:00.000+08:00

Yessssssssssssssssssssssssss,thats my new specs!

I look kindof weird with that specs!

cause i think its way too big for me or wayyyyy to

nerdy for me! either way laa huh! heh!

Life's good nowadays!

World-Cupping all the way! hahahah!

idk should i stay up and watch the next match later on anot.

Theres two match & idk which to watch!

So,i think i shall head to sleep then!

my Voice is suppa sexy! i love it.

cause my aunty thought i scolded her over the phone

when she called home just now!

hahahahahaha! Biggest joke! but,i think kindof

cute lor! hahahaha!

Its babyboy's first bday this coming monday!

But,the parents gna celebrate this sunday!

I FREAKING DONT KNOW WHAT TO BUY
FOR HIM! my God!

ive been craking my head thinking what shall i buy for him

cause he've got Everything and idk what thing

he dont have! brgh!

i told first brother that i gna sabo his lil precious one.

and i got this,'if you dare,i gna kill u kindof look'

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

damn you brother! i think instead of saboing your

lil precious one,i gna sabo you instead!

*evilsmile*

My prediction,Argentina & Nigeria is thru to

the next round!

& last night,Spain Ace their game! Welldone babies!

& not forgetting my precious husband,

you look freaking hot with those sweat all over you!

i know everyone was talking about you kicking the ball in

field. But,i understand you! BUT! make sure you'll pull up your

socks for the next game eventho i know your socks is

already high! but try okay?! :-*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Omg! i sounds so mushy washy! hahahhahaha!

whatever laa huh! give up watching the games!

So,shall sleep now!

Goodnight all!

ps ; Do you know,how much

you've been missed?

Indefinitely.

2010-06-20T22:52:00.000+08:00

This Heart Wont Lie.

Rest In Peace.

2010-06-20T03:15:00.003+08:00

Deepest condolence to my fellow friend.
Her boyf just passed away a few days ago
due to car accident!
She was e driver & she is saved!
But unfortunate for her boyf. sigh.
and ystd was his bday!
How evil life can be?
She & the Boyf planned to get married but!
They cant. How sad can it be too?
I know her during attachment.
a very bubbly girl. never fail to laugh at any
single thing! i hope her personality wont change.
but,doubt so right?
i just hope the very best for her!
& may her boyf Rest In Peace.
Dear Kammy,this is not the end of everything.
you've got to move on in life still.
i know this is way too hard for you.
you've gone thru way lot this past few days.
But,reassure all this will end real soon!
Just pray for the late. May he RIP up there!
*hugs*
(:

argentina Vs S.Korea.

2010-06-17T19:06:00.003+08:00

i think tdy is my suay day!
Specs gone case! broke into two!
& Im sick! for goodness sake! ):
but on the happier note,
mom being sucha sweetheart,she managed to make
me laugh. loveyou hell lot mom! (:
but still,i wldnt let anything stop me from watching
soccer! last night Spain lost to Swiss,the underdog! -.-'
the way they played their game,really,cannot make it!
im like cursing each and everyone who is dribbling with the
ball! & Torres baby is not on form yet! Can clearly
see he is still not 100% fit yet!
its okay baby! next game,i know you can do it!
ya,i know you ppl reading this is so disgusted by what
i just said! but who cares!
*rolleyes*
hahahahahahaha!
now,im off to Argentina vs S.Korea game!
& guess what? ze korean just gave a free goal for argentina!
Good job guys! -_______-'
k,bye!

Your just making me famous,Girl. (:

2010-06-15T02:38:00.002+08:00

Hate it alot when i am being accused for things
ive NEVER done.
Girl,your too much. Way too much.
Every human being have their own patience,own limits.
& you,have already test my bloody patience and limits!
Your older then me yet your SO IMMATURE.
I dint retaliate at all. YET!
your adding salt on the wound.
& your not bad looking you know.
BUT WHY THE ATTITUDE IS?! omg!
Fyi,i typed awhole bunch of para but i delete it off.
i find it kindof info-less for you guys to know.
So,just leave it as it is.
the one who knows it will knows it! (:
i hate quarreling. but,you,being a bitch,
and inhuman too,your too much.
like how ustazah aku kate,
'MEMFITNAH ORANG ITU LEBIH BERDOSA
DARI MEMBUAT MAKSIAT!'
Get that in mind girl!
Cause whatever you do,imma laughing my ass off.
cause your trying SO HARD to emotionally pull
me down! Fat hope,you'll NEVER even near to
success to do that!
So long!
and thanks for making me famous
in either way or other!
(:

It will never happen,i promise.

2010-06-12T03:32:00.003+08:00

This hand is so itchywitchy
to chat with you each time
you come online. But no,
ill make sure thats not gna
happen. i swear! But,to get
e opposite treatment,im sure
and i can promise,even thousands
years down the road,its not
gna happen. Ever.
Goodnight all & to you too.

ps ; Life is just like a
rollercoaster. Ill have to
fight no matter what happens.
no matter what circumstances
i gna face with. insyaAllah!

hate it so much. ):

2010-06-08T22:23:00.000+08:00

Enuf said,
~~IMISSYOU.~~
k,thxbye.

SPAIN BABY SPAIN! :D

2010-06-06T22:57:00.003+08:00

I miss Ward 12C nursey there!
Especially my snow white! its been a while since i smsed
her. shall do it later on!
So excited to meet all of them,hopefully
on 3rd of july! cause one of the staff invite
some of the students for her wedding.
so sweet aye? (:
Ohya!
world cup is around the corner!
so excited!
Im rooting for SPAIN! :D
and england too! hahahahaha!
cause brazil not so on form. only left kaka only!
me dont like! reason why im rooting for SPAIN?
Go figure it out yourself kids!
hahahahaha!
im off to sleep!
Goodnight all!
=)

ps ; idk if this is called love or if
this is called infatuation.
what matters now is,
i know this gg no where.
but,i just gna like you.....
FOR THE FUN of it.
so..... dont worry boy.
slowly,~~imtryingtoforgetallaboutyou~~.

im sure,i will. (':

2010-06-03T21:29:00.005+08:00

And if you found someone new,
I know she better be good to you.
Cause if she dsnt,
ILL BE THERE.

Life aint getting better. ):

2010-05-31T02:50:00.002+08:00

No matter how much i try to,
How much ive tried to get myself busy,
Ive always forgot to
FORGET YOU.
):

You are my everything.

2010-05-29T01:56:00.004+08:00

Have you ever wonder how much babies can make you feel
so love,so happy till once you saw/see them,you can
immediately forget about all your problems?
Like 'an apple keeps a doctor away' kind of thing?
to me,it is. totally.
idk why. i cried while i put baby Iqraam to sleep.
I wonder how life gna be if he wsnt here with me now.
i can predict things will get worst,for sure.
he is my happiness,the reason i smile,the reason i laugh,
the reason why im still here and stay on stronger each day.
He teach me what is the true meaning of love.
He teach me how to love.
He teach me how to smile/laugh whenever im down.
He teach me how to stay strong when im on
a mere to give up.
He teach me everything that no one can ever teach me this.
Eventho its not literally.
But,indirectly,he do.
He is the reason for every smile i put up on my face.
He is the reason for everything since hes being brought
up into this world merely a year ago.
He made this frown turned into a smile.
& he made this smile turned into laughter.
You all wldnt know how much i love him.
Just too much,just so much.
I just hope when hes all grown up,
he dsnt forget me,his aunty whom have been taking
care of him since his day one at this home.
insyaAllah,i know he wont.
Goodnight all!

ps ;
Dear heart,can you please just
do me a small favour?
a favour to forget everything
about him and a favour to help
me move on in life smoothly?
i just need this little favour.
just this,not more then that.
I PROMISE!
):

your missed,terribly much. ):

2010-05-26T02:30:00.003+08:00

Ive got alot to update! & ive yet to update regarding last
saturday 3 in 1 celebration!
it was all full of fun & laughter.
ive never seen my family this happy before.
especially mom & 2nd brother.
you just wldnt know how it feel.
i feel so warm.
i hope this little things me,sis in law & 2nd bro gf plan
do make their day to the fullest.
ive never seen 2nd brother that happy before.
for real.
i love my family more then anything,everything.
once ive upload the pictures form my camera,
ill upload it ASAP.
i think by weekend! heh!

apart of that,this sem ive got 4ICA presentation.
Alhamdulliah,its like lessen way so much then year 1.
BUT,it wasnt that great because,
the qns,my group got seriously
DISASTROUS.
it is so difficult!
):
but insyaAllah,i try my best to make it!
2nd week of sch 'reopen',ive think abt it clearly,
ive got to pull up my socks really high.
im proud of myself.
cause so far,ive never fail to be awake during
my lectures! only mental health!
cannot make it!
cause i hate the lecturer to the core!
irritating TTM! -________-'
his jokes are all idiotically nonsense and no sense
and not even link to the topic.
& he LOVES to criticize oths & he THINKS
hes that good.
okay,whatever it is,i shall not give up!
ill try to 'LOVE' him with my full heart.
*hak pui*
okay,its 3am already!
im off to sleep!
Goodnight all!
(:

ps ; two weeks have gone for real now.
you just wldnt know how much
your missed.
i hope your doing fine.
just perfectly fine!
(':

ill be there.

2010-05-24T23:20:00.001+08:00

idk why. but my heart just shattered whenever
i watch the video.
i really can feel you. it hurts.
& the different thing between you & me is,
YOU can MOVE ON.
where else,
I CANT.
i know,i sucha pain in the ass girl.
Girls,what you've got to say about it right?
Sigh.

I AM PARANOID!

2010-05-23T22:38:00.003+08:00

for a moment,no,not for a moment.
BUT,i feel this for a long time already.
i HAVE a friend,whom i think is USING me for good
right now. yes,i am SERIOUS.
its like,when you need me,you come to me complaining
EVERYTHING to me and stuff.
but when you already HAVE your other friends,
you TOTALLY forgot about me. this might sound
stupid,but I AM PARANOID.
you've made me lost trust on you once.
and when this things happen & happening right now,
im scared if by giving you another chance by trusting you
isit WORTH it or not.
no,im not gg to tell you straight at your face.
YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS YOURSELF.
but if your too oblivious to your surroundings,
then too bad and too sad.
im sick & tired of all this.
Being alone is the best. ill not ask for anything much.
i cannot force ppl to change cause me,too in the
process of changing for the better.
For now,studies is my first priority.
will not disappoint my parents nor my siblings
& also bro's girlf!
InsyaAllah,i can do this!
Amin!

whywhywhywhywhyyyyyy! ):

2010-05-21T22:49:00.003+08:00

My mood currently kindof down?
i think i know why.
ive never felt this blardy way before,ever.
idk why this past few days my mind cant stop thinking about
YOU.
yes,you.
at lectures,tutorials,at home,walking home,basically,
EVERYWHERE!
WHY?! why must it be YOU whom im thinking about
this past few days?
i feel so damn restless.
the more i said,i wanted to move on,i just cant.
this is seriously killing me inside slowly.
i think i know the answer myself.
i really think i do.
but,im confused.
MAYBE,if i nvr saw you whom is similar to 'you',
i bet all this wldnt happen. i can reassure you.
But,whatever happens,happens for a reason right?
because even your online & you dint chat with me,
it already made my day.
See my point of view?
ahhhh! forget about it!

i really do! ):

2010-05-21T00:01:00.000+08:00

It may seem like I’m completely over you,
and I may have tricked you into thinking so.
But, honestly…
every time I see or talk to you I want to die.
I miss you, more than you could imagine!

):

a big SIGH. ):

2010-05-18T19:39:00.004+08:00

Its been awhile evensince i cried.
and thanks mom for that today.
idk why.
but since you ALWAYS love to make me
pissed off with you every now & then,
i shall fulfill your wish sooner or later?
i cant wait till i grad & work
& im off to overseas to cont my studies.
maybe that will help you,
will help to ease your mind from me?
hah.
yeah,im a useless brat. not an apple in your eyes.
but still,i do have feelings.
all may say,mom knows us the best.
yes,you know me the best.
BUT you have not know me totally.
not to my feelings.
you no NOTHING.
so,its kindof useless if i argue with you with
anything. cause you know nth.
continue to become a great mom to the
oth 3child. esp to the 2nd one.
cause i know he is the only one who
can make YOU PROUD.
How much i put an effort to make you & dad proud,
i guess my effort are all flow down to the drain.
true what ppl said,
'bile seseorg buat slh,drg ingat smpi mati,
bile seseorg buat baik,takde ingat pon smpi mati.'
mom,just put your ego aside.
i dont hate you mom. i just hate your egoistic.
Totally.
idk how it gna works this saturday.
at this point of time,i need 1st brother.
i just need to talk to him right now.
cause i know,he understand me the most!
)':

[*MyLittleSecret*]